Weblog
Jul 3, 05:37 AM: The Word of the day
OK so I’m super pissed about this, check it out. I needed to use the past tense of the word ‘Cancel’ here on the website which I was thinking was spelled with a double L. I had typed the word into MS-Word, which immediately told me that ‘cancelled’ was misspelled; it wanted the word spell with just one L, ‘canceled’. While one part of my brain was saying “that can’t be right, that would be can-seal-d” another part of my brain was trying to squeeze an X into the word somewhere so I decided to side with the computer.
As I type this I see that it’s not doing that anymore which isn’t exactly calming me down. Now it’s telling me both spellings are correct. Consulting Dictionary.com I see that it was the nerve to say that both spellings are correct also. On one hand this seams to fit with the total lack of logic this language has to offer but on the other it’s wholly unacceptable. Lets fix it!
First of all lets look at the letter C. How can you have a letter that is pronounced with out actually using that letter? Neither ‘see’ nor ‘sea’ have a C in them. What sound would that thing actually make? It can’t be ‘kuh’ as in cat, the letter K already makes that noise. Or is it C that makes the noise and K needs to change, C does come first in the alphabet. I’m gonna pick on C for now, I might swap later. The only value I see for C is when used with an H to make the ‘chuh’ sound like in church (twice). OK, so new rule in English 2.0 C = ‘chuh’ i.e. church is now spelled curc.
Back to the word of the day. Now that C can not make K or S noises what was formerly spelled ‘cancel’ is now spelled ‘kansel’. And my original problem of one L or two is simply ‘kanseld’.
Click here to add a comment.
Tags: spelling, logic, dictionary
Jun 10, 06:01 AM: These guys are what we call “sleaze balls.”
One thing that is bothering me more and more is older men who date younger women especially when the man is in a position of authority. I’m not talking about a 40-something man dating a 30-something woman from his office. I’m talk about guys who are usually in their early to middle 20’s, sometimes older who work in pizza shops, grocery stores, etc. and date the teenaged girls who also work there. These guys are what we call “sleaze balls.”
I already know the defense so don’t waste your time. You think that because you both “work” in the same place you must be contemporaries, wrong! She works there because it’s a job for teenagers, you work there because you are a loser, there’s a BIG difference. The other one is “she’s mature for her age,” wrong again! Actually it’s that you are immature for your age. She likes you because you are older, you can legally buy alcohol, and can kinda grow facial hair. You like her because women your own age already know you’re a loser (see above), she gets drunk off half a Budweiser, and YOU ARE A “SLEAZE BALL” (see above)!
Situations like above are why we have the term ‘justifiable homicide.’ I know if some 23-year-old pizza hut manager ever touched my little girl (if I had kids) no one would ever find the body. In all fairness parents we have to have some kind of learning curve for these guys or else the used Camaro market will dry up and disappear. The first time a guy gets caught doing this he should just be maimed but if you catch your daughter dating an older guys with a limp or similar, you get to kill that “sum-bit!”
Click here to add a comment.
Jun 3, 06:08 AM: Swift Blue Ram
So Saturday Judson and I are driving up I-85 north of Atlanta in my ’89 Dodge Ram Charger. Traffic is very heavy so we are not going fast but at one point I go to tap the brake and the petal goes straight to the floor and we do not stop. Man if we had been at any speed that would have been a disaster. Fortunately we had a flat grader and a very slow speed so I was able to limp home without incident.
I’ve had brake trouble in the Ram before on another occasion when I was in very slow stop and go traffic. The first time this happened I was sure I would need to get the brakes serviced but I lucked out. I left the truck parked over night and the next day everything seamed back to normal. This time I was not so lucky. Sunday morning I took a little test drive and even though I did have some braking power the system was “spongy” at best.
So I take the Ram into the shop to have the brakes serviced. No big deal I have them check it out its just a little wait til the pull it in. They call me over to review what they have found.
- Master cylinder is cracked (replaced)
- One rear wheel cylinder (replaced both/sold in pairs)
- Bleed & adjust brake system
- Labor (waived) see below
It’s frustrating but its pretty much what I expected. I had planned all along to have the brakes done but I was really hoping my condo would sell before I had to do it. They check and they can get the part that day so they will have it ready before they close at 6pm, its about noon when they tell me this and I have been there about 2 hours already. It will be about 2 hours before the parts will get there so I called Dr. Drew and had him pick me up, it will be simple enough to pick the Ram up before trivia.
Back at the house I make some lunch and get everything ready for trivia. I call the garage a little later to make sure the parts came in and they did so I should be all set, they will call when the truck is ready. So 5:30pm hits and still no call. I had Dr/ Drew just run me down to the place sine they close at 6:00pm and I don’t mind waiting a few minutes if I have to. So we get there and my truck is still all torn apart, it don’t look like it’s been worked on at all and they is no one working on it right now.
I go up to the counter and talk to the little guy Wayne that works there (I’m easily twice this guys size). He tells me one of the parts was the wrong size for my truck but the have the right one now so they will be able to finish it today he’s just not sure how late they will need to stay that night. I let Wayne know that I have to be to work (trivia) at 7:00pm and I need my truck so while he rushes around for a minute I talk to Dr. Drew about my options.
It’s just before 6 and I let Wayne know that I’m going to go back to the house ad get ready for work then come back for my truck. He’s not sure it will be ready by then but I made it pretty clear that I will be “super pissed” if I don’t get my truck til Monday. Miraculously when I get back 45 minutes later my truck is ready to go. You just gotta know how to motivate people.
Click here to add a comment.
Jun 2, 06:29 AM: English 2.0
I have always had a great deal of trouble with spelling and I have felt bad (dumb) about it most of my life. But you know what I don’t think that I should. This language we use makes not sense at all. Most of it is stolen form other languages, even the name English is what is spoken in England (the people there are even called the English!) but that is not the same language we speak here (USA). All the rules contradict each other and only remain constant until the wind changes direction. How can ‘to’, ‘too’, and ‘two’ all be pronounced ‘tu’ but then ‘read’ can be pronounced ‘reed’ or ‘red’.
Ok so we are building a new language and we are going to use logic and common sense and eliminate redundancy and crap like “except after C!” Here are my first 3 ideas for English 2.0
First off the word ‘eye’ is gone! ‘Eye’ logically speaking would be pronounced ‘ee-yeh’ or maybe ‘ee-yee’. The thing in your head you see with is an ‘i’ and the plural would be ‘is’ which bring me to the second thing…
The word ‘is’ will now be ‘iz’. You see an ‘S’ is not allowed to make a ‘zzz’ sound because ‘Z’ already makes the ‘zzz’!
Let’s move on to punctuation. In English 2.0 the punctuation will come at the beginning of our sentences (I think I stole that from Spanish). In my mind the punctuation sets the tone of the sentence and especially in longer sentences its too late to get all the way to the end to find out that that should have been an exclamation. Ah but you say “Garrett how will I know when the sentence is done?” It’s easy one of two things will happen. Either you will run into a new punctuation indicating you are about to begin a new sentence or YOU WILL RUN OUT OF WORDS! You don’t need closure, it’s a paragraph not a relationship.
More to come…
Click here to add a comment.
