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Jul 3, 05:37 AM: The Word of the day
OK so I’m super pissed about this, check it out. I needed to use the past tense of the word ‘Cancel’ here on the website which I was thinking was spelled with a double L. I had typed the word into MS-Word, which immediately told me that ‘cancelled’ was misspelled; it wanted the word spell with just one L, ‘canceled’. While one part of my brain was saying “that can’t be right, that would be can-seal-d” another part of my brain was trying to squeeze an X into the word somewhere so I decided to side with the computer.
As I type this I see that it’s not doing that anymore which isn’t exactly calming me down. Now it’s telling me both spellings are correct. Consulting Dictionary.com I see that it was the nerve to say that both spellings are correct also. On one hand this seams to fit with the total lack of logic this language has to offer but on the other it’s wholly unacceptable. Lets fix it!
First of all lets look at the letter C. How can you have a letter that is pronounced with out actually using that letter? Neither ‘see’ nor ‘sea’ have a C in them. What sound would that thing actually make? It can’t be ‘kuh’ as in cat, the letter K already makes that noise. Or is it C that makes the noise and K needs to change, C does come first in the alphabet. I’m gonna pick on C for now, I might swap later. The only value I see for C is when used with an H to make the ‘chuh’ sound like in church (twice). OK, so new rule in English 2.0 C = ‘chuh’ i.e. church is now spelled curc.
Back to the word of the day. Now that C can not make K or S noises what was formerly spelled ‘cancel’ is now spelled ‘kansel’. And my original problem of one L or two is simply ‘kanseld’.
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Tags: spelling, logic, dictionary
Jun 2, 06:29 AM: English 2.0
I have always had a great deal of trouble with spelling and I have felt bad (dumb) about it most of my life. But you know what I don’t think that I should. This language we use makes not sense at all. Most of it is stolen form other languages, even the name English is what is spoken in England (the people there are even called the English!) but that is not the same language we speak here (USA). All the rules contradict each other and only remain constant until the wind changes direction. How can ‘to’, ‘too’, and ‘two’ all be pronounced ‘tu’ but then ‘read’ can be pronounced ‘reed’ or ‘red’.
Ok so we are building a new language and we are going to use logic and common sense and eliminate redundancy and crap like “except after C!” Here are my first 3 ideas for English 2.0
First off the word ‘eye’ is gone! ‘Eye’ logically speaking would be pronounced ‘ee-yeh’ or maybe ‘ee-yee’. The thing in your head you see with is an ‘i’ and the plural would be ‘is’ which bring me to the second thing…
The word ‘is’ will now be ‘iz’. You see an ‘S’ is not allowed to make a ‘zzz’ sound because ‘Z’ already makes the ‘zzz’!
Let’s move on to punctuation. In English 2.0 the punctuation will come at the beginning of our sentences (I think I stole that from Spanish). In my mind the punctuation sets the tone of the sentence and especially in longer sentences its too late to get all the way to the end to find out that that should have been an exclamation. Ah but you say “Garrett how will I know when the sentence is done?” It’s easy one of two things will happen. Either you will run into a new punctuation indicating you are about to begin a new sentence or YOU WILL RUN OUT OF WORDS! You don’t need closure, it’s a paragraph not a relationship.
More to come…
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