ChefGarret Cookbook: Wisdom (iii/iii)

Recipes for life, the universe and everything.

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These are from a funny email I got years ago. I already posted the first 20, this is the last of them.

There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works.

Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much
when your lips are moving.

Experience is something you don’t get
until just after you need it.

Never miss a good chance
to shut up.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass…
then things get worse.

Never, under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

There is a fine line between “hobby”
and “mental illness.”

No matter what happens,
somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

There comes a time when you should
stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday…
around age 11.